So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
God gave him joint rollers for hands
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
false alarm, still single
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
