i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
