Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize
