I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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