How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
