it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
sick fucks of a feather flock together
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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