Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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