just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
