How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
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