it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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