Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Non-Jews are for practice
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
