I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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