at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Blood and glitter go together right?
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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