Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
where am i from again
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
