garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
