And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
