At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
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