Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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