Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
