saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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