i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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