She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
