ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
