Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Randomize
