I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
