May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
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