My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize