I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Your penis caused this!
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