TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
