You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Randomize
