youre lurking in front of me
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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