My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
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