Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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