..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
The power of my boobs compel you
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
