I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
