I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
