Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
