lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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