they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
The power of my boobs compel you
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
