i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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