these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I need to sanitize my soul.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Randomize
