Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Randomize
