So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
well I can't set my house on fire every night
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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