I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
