Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
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