2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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