its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
