He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
You may now shotgun with the bride
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Please don't give away my fajitas
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize