ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
