i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
she smelled like a LAN party
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
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