is your mom at the bar?
I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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