Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
