we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
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They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
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I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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