She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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