some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Randomize
