best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Randomize
