Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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