What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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