I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
