Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
