Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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