Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
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