I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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