I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize