I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
